I work shoulder to shoulder with the doctors and nurses that treated me two years ago. They have no idea, they don’t even recognize me. They know me as a friend and colleague. Clients walk in and they express the fear, sadness, and hopelessness of their active addiction. I say, I sat in your seat. I have remained sober for almost two years now. I feel fear, anger, sadness and loneliness; but I also feel happiness, hope, love and belonging. I live a life of imperfection. I call my sponsor and talk to him about these things. I go to a meeting, I read the book, and I work the steps. I go home, get in bed, and close my eyes. I think, I didn’t use today, I didn’t even think of using today. I felt all these feelings and I didn’t have to use today. I am so grateful that I can be a friend, a colleague, and witness to others. I am grateful that I can feel any combination of feelings and remain sober. I am grateful for being a drug addict. My addiction has brought me to a new understanding and acceptance of myself and the world around me. For those of you who were like me, I say you are not alone. You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to suffer as I did. It is possible to be grateful for your past and hopeful for the future.
Showing Gratitude for your Past
, • November 12, 2014